Is it a gift? Or is it guilt?

No, seriously—take a moment and ask yourself:

Is it a gift, or is it guilt?

Too often, we buy things not out of love or joy but because we feel bad.

Maybe you feel like you haven’t done enough, you’re too privileged, or you haven’t been the best friend lately. You’re trying to make up for what feels like a lack.

Sound familiar?

This is why I’m so passionate about reevaluating gift-giving as one of the first steps in creating a sustainable budget.

Because often, the reason we’re buying gifts in the first place isn’t rooted in genuine intention—it’s fueled by guilt.

Redefining the Role of Gifts

If you’re stretching your finances—or worse, going into debt—to give gifts, it’s time to pause and reflect. Gift-giving should be an expression of care and connection, not a burden or a way to mask deeper feelings.

Your friends and family don’t want you to hurt yourself financially just to give them a present. And if they do, that’s a bigger conversation about boundaries and expectations.

Instead of defaulting to spending, think about how you can create new ways to show your love. It starts with being honest about where you’re at.

True Generosity

Let’s not forget about giving to charity . If you’re donating money because you feel like you should or because you feel guilty about what you have, stop and check in with yourself.

You are allowed to set yourself up first.

When you have a strong financial foundation, you can give from a place of abundance and true generosity—not guilt.

And that’s when giving feels incredible because it’s coming from a genuine desire to help, not a sense of obligation.

The Weight of Gift-Giving

Can we just say the quiet part out loud?? Gifts add a lot of pressure. There’s this constant back and forth of, "They got me a gift, so I have to get them one", or "I didn’t give them a gift last year, but they gave me one, so I owe them this time". 

It’s this compounding pressure that builds and builds—and it takes all the joy out of giving.

Instead of falling into that cycle, ask yourself:

• Am I giving this gift because I genuinely want to?
• Am I giving it because I found something that feels perfect for this person?
• Or am I giving it because I feel like I have to?

Think back to this past holiday season. Were there gifts you gave just because you felt guilty? Did you buy something because you thought it was expected, even though it didn’t feel right? This is something worth sitting with as we move through the year. Gift-giving can be meaningful and joyful, but only when it’s done with the right intention.

This year, let's choose to gift from the heart: not from guilt.